Perhaps it is only because of the heat, perhaps....perhaps not. But today was genuinely the first day I think I grasped a momentary taste of the blandness that some people experience in their twilight years. Does this mean that an ominous visitation is at hand? Is this taste an impetus to reignite an ember that all but died? Perhaps it is nothing more than taking another step in an unknown direction.

How easy it is to lose sight of the most important things in life, especially amidst the hustle and bustle of "life" as many of us may know it.

How can I describe this sense of listlessness from earlier today? It is as though everything is vain. Meaningless. Strangely, there was little in the way of resemeblance to despair. If anything, indifference to everything is probably its closest sibling. Despite going through the motions of mundane activities that usually bring joy and even temporarily enjoying the moment, the joyfulness was as fleeting as the forgotten breaths we take every minute of our lives.

It is as though a solitary figure is stationary within the confines of a dark, immeasurable expanse, but unable to see that nothing is there. Instead, this person experiences everything as though life is going on as usual. The only discrepancy in the experiences is an indescribable blandness. Emptiness of all flavors, good and bad alike. Something is definitely amiss.

Wow...it's been a LONG time since I last opted to express some thoughts (or semblances of thoughts) in writing. Much has transpired in the past 10 or so weeks. To summarize, it's been a series of stops and gos, with mostly stops for the time being. I suppose some things have come full circle in a rather roundabout way.

On a mundane level, returning to the San Francisco area is imminent.
Emotionally, the storms have subsided.
Spiritually, several messages have been clearly communicated through multiple brethren.

They are worth noting here before my memory fails me.
1) What is God's most distinct attribute? I believe it is His Holiness...much to ponder there. Could it be that ALL of His other attributes follow from His Holiness?
2) Exactly how do we "trust" God? How do we know we are trusting in Him? What happens when we don't trust in Him?
3) What is one observation in life that hinders both non-believers and believers alike in knowing God? Apparently, the "Problem of Evil." But is it really a "problem"? Just as the Law shows us the errors of our ways, is not this problem of Evil clearly indicative of a truly "Good" God who patiently awaits for all to know Him? There's MUCH more to this, but unpacking it succinctly, yet thoroughly, will require much more than time and space than a blog will presently permit.
4) Prayer...must pray to be more prayerful. Seems like a Catch-22, but it really isn't.
5) Thanksgiving and Praise. Thank God for His timely provision of all things, including "random" words of encouragement and "random" encounters with various people, believers and non-believers alike.
6) Optimistic thinking based on thanksgiving. It is very easy to criticize and succumb to cynicism, especially in the "modern" world where supposedly novel ideas lead people astray from knowing Christ. How can this fatal trend be countered and challenged in a loving, but truthful way? Perhaps by offering "another" perspective on anything and everything in life. Positive thinking is touted by many, but if its basis is not in Christ, then it is merely another mortal's philosophy or approach to life. Is it possible to be thankful always, in any and every circumstance? I believe it is POSSIBLE, but not easy to do.
7) F words...should be Fun to follow up on.

Mammon (don't you like Wikipedia?) is more modern than the latest advances in medicine, the latest fads in fashion, and the latest in anything else. In a sense, it is the motivating force behind various "advances" and trends. Instead of the using the usual pseudo-expository forms of writing, I think it'd be interesting to ponder a few questions.

What's the difference between a $10 shirt, a $200 shirt, and a $10,000 shirt?

Why do students study hard?

Why do people work hard?

Why do investors care so much about the "bottom line"?

Why do people pursue fame, fortune, and/or power?

How do people measure one's "worth"?

Would you rather be worth your weight in gold or worth your works done out of love?

A famous, wealthy person walks into the church. At the same time, an anonymous, crippled, homeless person hobbles into the church. Who would you "want" to greet and why?

Given a choice, which life would you choose?

Life A: You inherit $10,000,000,000, good health, good looks, intelligence, fame, power, friends, and a good family. You can spend the money only on yourself, your friends, and your family. You believe in a god, but you have no idea who that god is. You live a long, "moral" life and die, never knowing who that god is.

Life B: You lack everything that the person in Life A has. You are isolated in the Himalayas, tending the animals belonging to some local villagers. You know God; you know who Jesus is and what He's done for you. You live knowing that you sin daily, and you die one day.